Thursday 18 October 2012

Tonto Dikeh Disappoints with Debut Single


In the last 48 hrs, Tonto Dikeh’s latest
singles, Hi and Itz Ova, have become two of the
most listened and downloaded tracks, with over
500,000 views.
Dikeh, who joined the bandwagon of other actors
who succumbed to the moonlighting itch to
delve into singing, has been lampooned and
criticised for the lack lustre quality and
uninspiring singles which went viral shortly after
its release on Wednesday.
After announcing the planned release of singles
last week, the actress was advised by fans and
critics to forget music and concentrate on
acting.
Ironically, Hi and Itz Ova have caused a Twitter
disaster and left in its trail criticisms and knocks,
mostly from disappointed fans over the ‘auto-
tune’ assisted tracks.
As if coming from an ill-advised artiste, the song
which lacks cohesion from start, ends up losing
the listener at some point, as the singer also
sounds unsure of her lyrics. The over-use of lewd
lines is also a cause for concern, especially for
younger listeners.
Not surprising, the first set of jabs emanated
from Twitter and in an instant the sultry star
became a trending topic. Chocolate City artiste,
M.I sparked off a stream of tweets, when he
wrote, “That new Tonto song tho…”
Other comments came from followers like
@ifyliciouss who wrote, “Are u tired of living? Do
you want to die? Put on your earpiece and listen
to Tonto Dike’s new single.
@iAmBigMitch said, “Tonto Dikeh sang that song
for psychiatric patients” while @kayc sugarboy
wrote, “Tonto Dikeh’s new single is good but I
think she better as an actress.So, please pass the
Mic!!!”
For @walesleek, it was humour unlimited with
the tweet, “Tonto Dikeh just dropped her new
single, be very afraid! “
For a smart few, complimenting Dikeh was all it
took to get a follow back, mention or re-tweet by
the budding singer. This ploy did not however go
unnoticed by a smart follower who mentioned
that God was watching all those who
were hyping her to get noticed.
But just when one was about to conclude that
none of her colleagues was yet to speak in favour
of the tracks or otherwise, controversial
filmmaker, Charles Novia, who was lashed by e
Dikeh on Twitter ,after he criticised the soft porn
film she starred in two years ago, penned a
worded article on his Facebook page
titled, Tonto’s Tremolo.
It partly read, “I’m a music label owner
(November Records) and have produced and
acts like Majek Fashek, Terry tha Rapman, Zubby
Enebeli etc. I know much about music and the
slant of commercial music. But after listening to
Miss Dike’s songs, I’m inclined to align with the
majorly negative comments about them on
cyberspace. Ah-ah! Whoever produced her knew
she has a bad voice for singing and masked our
listening torture with the autotune effect. But
even the autotune rejected any attempt to make
a bad voice worse and Miss Dike came out
sounding like she was in mid-stream orgasm
instead of singing! Her anguished tremolos would
have been better reserved for a horror movie
sound effect than an attempt at joining the
revered profession of music. If Omotola got away
with her last two terrible attempts at singing, it
was because Omotola is a fantastic actress and
her fans could forgive her musical failings after
back-tracking her body of work in Nollywood.
With Tonto, I can’t say much either for her
acting depth. She’s a one-dimensional actress in
my opinion, who mistakes notoriety for fame.”
Although Dikeh is not the first Nollywood actor to
have delved into music, the many controversies
she has courted, coupled with how much she
boasted about the tracks before its release, made
her plight worse.
Omotola Jalade-Ekeinde, for instance made
several attempts in music despite two albums;
the actress who claims that her music is not for
everyone is yet to make an impact.
After she was suspended by the Actors’ Guild in
2005, Genevieve Nnaji also took a shot at music
with the release of the song No More, after
clinching a mouth-watering recording deal in
Ghana.Yet this was not even enough to make her
a force to reckon with in the music industry.
Also, Anita Joseph, who recently announced that
she is born again, is yet to make any spectacular
statement as a singer despite several singles and
colourful videos.
Other Nollywood stars who have gone into music
include Nkem Owoh, Shan George, Zack Orji, Pat
Attah, Desmond Elliot and Kate Henshaw.

Meet World's Oldest Dad


Seriously? This 96 year old farmer from India
has just been named world's oldest dad.
Ramjit Raghav and his 52-year-old wife
Shakuntala Devi, welcomed a healthy baby
boy on Oct. 5, according to The Times of
India.
Raghav has now beaten his own record for
being the world's oldest new dad, which he
set two years ago when he and his wife
welcomed their first son together. The old
man says his sex drive is all natural and he
doesn't take any performance enhancers.
Back to my question; can a 96 year penis still
function at that age?

Capital Oil MD [Ifeanyi Uba] Spends Second Week in Detention


The billionaire businessman and MD of Capital
Oil and Gas Ltd is currently in a small cell at
the Special Fraud Unit in Ikoyi. He was
arrested on October 9th following accusations
of fraud totaling N43billion from the Aigboje
Aig-Imoukhuede led presidential committee
on verification and reconciliation of fuel
subsidy payments. The committee discovered
gross abuse by many marketers and reported
the case to the police. His company leads the
list of 25 companies indicted by the
committee which discovered about N62
billion of subsidy fraud.
So he's now facing criminal investigation and
prosecution for Capital Oil and Gas'
involvement in fuel subsidy fraud. He was in
court yesterday and the Special Fraud Unit of
the Nigerian Police told the court that the
money stolen by Mr Uba, could conveniently
pay the monthly allocation of 11 states of the
federation and asked the courts not to grant
him bail, which they didn't. The case was
adjourned to Monday October 22nd.
Meanwhile, his company has been blacklisted
by banks on the recommendation of the
Central Bank of Nigeria.

Tonto's Terrible Tremoloa by Charles Novia




Found the write up on the movie producer
and record label owner's Facebook page. See
it below...
Tonto's Terrible Tremolo by Charles
Novia.
I have restrained myself for a couple of
years from commenting on Tonto Dike's
career after my last comments about
her role in the soft porn movie she acted
in two years back, were badly taken by
her and she went on twitter to hurl
infantile insults on my person with
expletives and uncomplimentary
remarks. My reaction to such then was
just a dignified silence. After all, I had
already spoken on her stunted talent as
an up and coming actress and further
comments on her incensed tweets were
unnecessary.
Continue to see the rest...
All through the past few hours, the social
media networks have been abuzz with the
new singles of actress, Tonto Dike. She seems
to have joined the actors of her ilk who have
the moonlighting itch to delve into singing.
While no one can stop such an ambition by
those artistes, I do think those who surround
such artistes are their worst enemies if they
can't tell them the truth about leaving their
sometimes doubtful day job. Well, I will! I
listened to Miss Dike's two singles a few
minutes ago and my initial speechlessness
morphed to a nagging laughter and then
subsided into a befuddled anguish. I'm a
music label owner (November Records) and
have produced and Executive Produced acts
like Majek Fashek, Terry tha Rapman, Zubby
Enebeli etc. I know much about music and
the slant of commercial music. But after
listening to Miss Dike's songs, I'm inclined to
align with the majorly negative comments
about them on cyberspace. Ah-ah! Whoever
produced her knew she has a bad voice for
singing and masked our listening torture with
the Autotune effect. But even the Autotune
rejected any attempt to make a bad voice
worse and Miss Dike came out sounding like
she was in mid-stream orgasm instead of
singing! Her anguished tremolos would have
been better reserved for a horror movie
sound effect than an attempt at joining the
revered profession of music. If Omotola got
away with her last two terrible attempts at
singing, it was because Omotola is a fantastic
actress and her fans could forgive her
musical failings after backtracking her body
of work in Nollywood. With Tonto, I can't say
much either for her acting depth. She's a
one-dimensional actress in my opinion, who
mistakes notoriety for fame. She needs more
training in acting and this I say with all sense
of professionalism as a movie Director. She
might achieve greater heights in acting if she
trains more. But she has no heights to
achieve in singing. Only a downward plunge,
the stuff bad endings in movies are made of.